


Let's Talk This Out

by LeilaLynnS



Series: Things Renjun does for his boys [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Don't worry, Emotional, Happy Ending, M/M, Maybe thats just me, Sentimental, Serene - Freeform, almost break up, frustrating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 16:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16580201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeilaLynnS/pseuds/LeilaLynnS
Summary: Renjun never apologizes but he and Jeno are on the verge of breakup.





	Let's Talk This Out

“Can we talk this out at least?”

Renjun gulped large amounts of water as he calmed his heart from erratically beating and possibly breaking his poor ribcage into various pieces. He never liked being the first one to break and ask for forgiveness, yet here he is, trembling in anticipation and anxiety as he waits for his boyfriend to descend down the stairs of their little flat. In the mean time though, he’s stuck to thinking about the various horrible alternate universes as he took another gulp from his large mug which he had gotten as a birthday gift from Jeno last year.

He’s going to mend things with Jeno for almost breaking both their relationship and the latter’s face last night due to throwing his phone across the room towards his boyfriend whom looked so irritatingly irritating last night.

This is very hard for the stubborn and prideful male who never backs down anything despite being in the wrong quite a number of times. It also never helps that Jeno tolerates his boyfriend’s irrational rationalization most of the time. The taller male pampered Renjun so much and is always the first to initiate when things get rocky.

Jeno has been nothing but understanding to Renjun. He understands that attached to the entitlement of being the latter’s first relationship is the responsibility of compromising to all of Renjun’s misgivings and the responsibility of understanding his strong persona. Renjun has lived his 22 years quite independently so he understands how hard it must be to suddenly succumb to the yearnings of the heart. It’s hard to live with another person when you’ve done everything on your own your whole life. This is the thing with people driven by power and achievement, to suddenly get shaken by sensations is such a hard thing to accept and Jeno understands and accepts the hardship he will undergo in trying to weave into Renjun’s rigid system.

Renjun knows that he has abused his boyfriend’s patience though. He has been nothing but arrogant, nonchalant, and stubborn especially in times when he should be compromising and negotiating. Whenever arguments arise, he always feels wronged and gets defensive instead of trying to understand the aspects in which he might have done wrong. Instead of owning up to his feelings, he always acts cool and rarely returns Jeno’s affections. He always closes himself up when he feels that he’s being irrational instead of letting Jeno in on the loop. He’s been unfair.

He completely understands that Jeno is tired of all the shit he has put him through, and he completely understands that the latter is feeling hopeless. The rational thing to do is to let him go, to let him breathe, but Renjun finally chooses to be irrational. He wants to let his heart lead. Huang Renjun finally tore his walls down.

After the fifteen excruciatingly long minutes of waiting, Jeno finally descended down the stairs wearing simple white sweatshirt and loose-fitting gray trousers he remembered being sent by his mother to his boyfriend last Christmas. Renjun would have drooled at how dashing his boyfriend looks if it weren’t for his nerves taking the best out of him.

“Okay let’s talk.”

The coldness in Jeno’s usually warm voice sent a chill down Renjun’s spine. He felt like crying because he realized how much he has fucked up. He wants to remove such hostility but his pride is not letting him. He at least wants to keep even a little of his integrity in tact despite the uncharacteristic apology he longs to do.

“Uhm, I’ve read that one shouldn’t leave a fight unresolved for long, so…”

Renjun almost banged his head at the table at how idiotic he sounded. Why is it so hard to just blurt out _I’m sorry?_ It’s merely two words, for crying out loud. He was thought language well, so why is he finding it hard to do so? His relationship is practically hanging on a thread, yet here he is, being his usually idiotic and insensitive self. Feeling frustrated at both himself and the situation, Renjun finally broke down crying, sobbing loudly on his hands while muttering his apology and self-blame.

“I’m really sorry Jeno. I’ve been idiotic, insensitive, and stubborn; I took you for granted. You stayed with me despite it all, yet here I am, constantly pushing you away. I understand if you would want to leave, if you’re tired, but I want to be selfish. Please don’t leave me Jeno-yah. Please. _I love you._ ”

By the end of his jumbled words and apologies, Renjun is kneeling in front of Jeno. He’s holding the latter’s hands in his while burying his face on his boyfriend’s knees, still harshly sobbing.

He’s lost track of what caused his tears by then. At first, he’s certain it’s because of anxiety and frustration, by now, there’s fear (that Jeno might still leave him) as well as annoyance (towards himself) and embarrassment (that he looks like a snotty child).

Despite his efforts and desperation, Renjun is prepared to accept the impending breakup lurking around the corner. He’s prepared but it does not make it hurt any less, so it comes as a shock when he felt familiar hands propping him up back to the stool he was sitting on previously.

He found himself getting engulfed in a gentle hug as Jeno wrapped his arms around him, gently caressing his back in order to comfort his choking self. Renjun found himself calming to the familiar scent of the fabric conditioner they’re both using mixed with Jeno’s natural fragrance. It must be the hormones speaking, they’re telling him that this is his partner, that he’s naturally attracted to the man currently holding him on his chest. Jeno’s heartbeat slowly matches with Renjun’s once erratic ones and the latter slowly felt a smile creeping up.

“Damn Jun, you cornered me there. Please try to calm down.”

Jeno made Renjun look up from being buried on his chest. He wiped the smaller male’s tear-stained cheeks before placing a chaste kiss on Renjun’s lips. He chuckled seeing the confusion and worry on his boyfriend’s face. It warms his heart by a mile seeing how much Renjun has gone off just to make him stay. It is uncharacteristically Renjun to cry and whimper like a child after arguments, it is uncharacteristically Renjun to apologize, and it is uncharacteristically Renjun to be emotionally driven. Thus, seeing that, Jeno decided then and there.

“I’m not leaving you, _I won’t leave you_.”

“Really? You won’t?”

“Uhmm-mm. Just promise me something; promise me that you’ll let your heart move once in a while?”

Renjun pouted and pondered for a while. It will be incredibly hard, he knows it, but he knows that Jeno will be there with him as well, waiting for him to take a step. Knowing that Jeno will be patient with his progress, he’s suddenly sure and determined. Such a competitive spirit. At least it’s properly directed this time.

“I will.”

Renjun sniffed adorably that made Jeno place one more kiss on his lips.

“ _I love you too Huang._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very sorry if this is deviating from the fluff I’ve been writing in this series so far, it’s just that I wanted to write something wholesome and relatable. This work is just so emotional and I cannot pass up the opportunity to write something subtle and something which will not make you crack up, rather, it’s a work which will make you smile subtly while riding the train, probably, and make you feel contented. At least that’s my goal? 
> 
> The idea suddenly dawned on me while listening to Taylor Swift’s Stay Stay Stay, so I suggest you do as well as the ambiance is quite fitting. I wrote this when I learned that our dog is dying as some sort of healing. Goodnight Ran-Ran. I hate goodbyes.


End file.
